An Interpretation of Chapter 112 from the Quran

I repeat it as a Sufi each morning 11 times.  Feeling as though I am ready to do this as my teacher did.   This morning I also did as my teacher has done and gave a mystic-heart-rendition of the Surah.

In the Name of Ahura:

Who Reigns As Complete Mercy and Compassion,

In the Name of Mazda:

Who Reigns As Complete Wisdom,

Say, "She Is Ahura Mazda! She Is One!"
"Eternal Source of Refuge"

"Nothing Like Her"

"Nor Equal to Her"

Sheikh Nur (Lex Hixon) is my teacher along the Way.  For some of us, the heart exists as a temple of worship where Light shines through many colored windows.  It is certain that Zoroastrianism is a Path for me, but there are many other equally beautiful sacred parallel paths as The Good Religion recognizes.  Sheikh Nur and I are traversing them in unique ways and he has introduced me, I believe, to Meher Baba also.  I knew of Meher Baba before, but I recognize his guidance is so perfect right now and recognize why I was 'coincidentally' led to explore his life and work.  One thing that I can't wait to read are the prayers he wrote based on the 101 Names of Ahura Mazda. 

Meher Baba was born a Zoroastrian.  As he progressed on the Path, he saw God beyond the labels of religions yet spoke in the language of religion beautifully as needed.  For many years he "spoke" silently. He kept silence because he felt God had already said all there was to say and now it was time for humanity to listen.  In the silence, he gave his devotees the opportunity to take the words of God into their hearts.

A Zoroastrian is called, through acts of goodness, to live the life of faith by their heart and this is what Ahura Mazda called humankind to do.  The dogma hardens around the teachings sadly when a Prophet leaves the earth and we are left with people who argue over ritual and prayer and belief.  Rather than just engage in sincere loving prayer and true belief in the Divine, the only part that matters disappears.

God gets lost when spirituality is overcome by dogma.  This much I know.  If laws stand in the way of being a believer, there is something wrong.  Some might need that kind of structure, but it was wringing me dry of what I needed.  Trust in Love, Mercy and Compassion.  Knowing I was able to turn to Mazda as a friend and need not fear every move I made would be rejected.  This is what I have found in Restored Zoroastrianism.

From the Avesta...

In the name of The Almighty One!

I praise and utter Almighty One!

Full of Glory!  Full of Radiance!

All-Knowing!  Preserver of All!

God of all gods!  Ruler of rulers!

Protector of all! 

Creator of all things created!

Bestower of bounties

and Giver of sustenance to all!

The One who reigns over nature!

Almighty One!  The Ancient One!

Forgive us!  Bestower of Grace! O Merciful One!  

O Omnipotent One! O Omniscient One!  

O One who Reigns over all!

O Nourisher of Purity!

-from the Avesta-

101 Names of Ahura Mazda (Ruler of Wisdom)...

Meher Baba said to his devotees:

 "If you repeat this prayer with love, no other prayer remains to be said... 

Anyone can repeat these names with love, irrespective of the religion he belongs to."

101 Names of God

 Meher Baba's translation
***

1. Yazad  :: Worthy of Worship

2. Harvesp-tawan :: All Powerful

3. Harvesp-Agah :: All Knowing

4. Harvesp-Khoda ::  Lord of All

5. Abadeh ::  Without Beginning

6. Abi-Anjam :: Without End

7. Bun-e-stiha ::  Root of Creation

8. Frakhtan-taih :: Endless Bliss

9. Jamaga  ::  Primal Cause

10. Prajtarah  :: Exalted One

11. Tum-afik  :: Purest of the Pure

12. Abaravand  ::  Detached from All

13. Paravandeh  :: In Touch with All

14. An-ayafeh :: Unattainable

15. Hama-Ayafeh :: Attainer of All

16. Adro :: Most Righteous

17. Gira :: Upholder of All

18. A-chem :: Beyond Reason

19. Chamana  :: Sovereign Reason

20. Safana  ::   Bountiful One

21. Afza  :: Ever Prolific

22. Nasha  :: Reaching Equally to All

23. Parwara :: Nourisher

24. Ianaha :: Protector of the World

25. Ain-aenah  :: Never-changing

26. An-aenah :: Formless

27. Kharoshid-tum  :: Most Steadfast Among the Steadfast

28. Mino-tum  :: Lord Invisible

29. Vasna :: All-pervading

30. Harvastum :: All-in-All

31. Hu-sepas :: Worthy of Our Profound Thanks

32. Har-Hamid :: All-embracing Goodness

33. Har-naik-faraih  :: All-embracing Holy Light

34. Baish-tarana  ::  Remover of Affliction

35. Taronish  ::  Beyond Affliction

36. Anah-aoshaka :: Immortal

37. Farasaka  ::  Fulfiller of Holy Desires

38. Pajohdehad :: Creator of Holy Attributes

39. Khwafar :: Compassionate Judge

40. Avakhshiaea   ::  Merciful Giver

41. Abaraja   ::  Bountiful Giver

42. A-satoha :: Unconquerable

43. Rakhoha :: Freest of the Free

44. Varun  :: Deliverer from Evil

45. A-farefah :: Never Deceiving

46. Be-farerftah :: Never Deceived

47. A-dui   ;;  One Without a Second

48. Kam-rad :: Lord of Desire

49. Farman-kam :: Decreer of Sovereign Desire

50. Aekh Tan :: Soul Supreme

51. A-faremosh :: Never forgetting

52. Hamarna  :: Just Accountant

53. Sanaea :: Knowing All Things

54. A-tars :: Fearless

55. A-bish :: Devoid of Pain

56. A-frajdum :: Most Exalted One

57. Ham-chun :: Ever the Same

58. Mino-satihgar :: Invisible Creator of the Universe

59. A-minogar :: Creator of the Profoundly Spiritual

60. Mino-nahab :: Hidden Within the Spirit

61. Adar-bad-gar :: Transmuter of Fire into Air

62. Adar-nam-gar :: Transmuter of Fire into Dew

63. Bad-adar-gar :: Transmuter of Air into Fire

64. Bad-nam-gar :: Transmuter of Air into Dew

65. Bad-gail-gar :: Transmuter of Air into Earth

66. Bad-gerd-tum :: Supreme Transmuter of Air into Dust

67. Adar-kibritatum :: Supreme Transmuter of Fire into Divine Sparks

68. Bad-gar-jae  ::  Spreading Air Everywhere

69. Ah-tum :: Creator of Lifegiving Water

70. Gail-adar-gar  ::  Transmuter of Dust into Fire

71. Gail-vad-gar :: Transmuter of Dust into Air

72. Gail-nam-gar   :: Transmuter of Dust into Water

73. Gar-gar  :: Master Craftsman

74. Garo-gar :: Rewarder of Sincere Desires

75. Gar-a-gar :: Creator of All Humanity and its Actions

76. Gar-a-gar-gar :: Creator of All Human and Animal Life

77. A-gar-agar :: Creator of All the Four Elements

78. A-gar-a-gar-gar :: Creator of All the Planets and All Other Worlds

79. A-guman :: Never in Doubt

80. A-jaman :: Ageless

81. A-Khuan  :: Eternally Awake

82. Amast :: Ever-Alert

83. Fashutana  ::  Ever-Protecting

84. Padmani :: Recorder of Man's Actions

85. Firozgar :: Victorious

86. Khudawand :: Lord of the Universe

87. Ahuramazd :: Lord of Life and Wisdom

88. Abarin-kuhan-tawan :: Preserver of Creation

89. Abarin-nao-tawan :: Renewer of Creation

90. Vaspan :: Embracing All Creation

91. Vaspar  :: Giver of All Things

92. Khawar  :: Infinitely Patient

93. Ahu :: Lord of Existence

94. Avakhshidar  ::   Forgiver of Sins

95. Dadar :: Divine Creator

96. Raiyomand :: Rayed in Glory

97. Khorehmand :: Haloed in Light

98. Davar  :: Lord of Justice

99. Karfaigar  ::  Lord of Just Rewards

100. Bokhtar :: Liberator

101. Farsho-gar :: Awakener of Eternal Spring

the Path of the Good Mind...

It is the Path of the Good Mind
which Thou hast manifested to me, O Ahura! 

Whereby the well-doers, in accordance
with the teaching of the Spiritual Guides, 

acting in harmony with Truth alone,
Shall pass onward to the assigned reward 

of which Thou art the bestower, O Mazda!

This precious reward of Thine, O Mazda,
 Thou givest by way of the Good Mind, 

Thou givest to those who perform actions
through knowledge and pure thought;

 who attempt for the progress and development
of the world; fulfill God's desire 

and try for the progress of God's Will
 through truth and righteousness.

--Yasna 34, Verse 13 and 14 --

Good Thoughts....

You are wherever your thoughts are.

Make sure your thoughts are where you want to be.

Reb Nachman of Breslov

Good Thoughts (Humata) do not always come naturally.  It can take work. Fear and greed, I recently heard, are the usual culprits if we are led away from the Good Thought. Yet it is obvious that once we have a sincere longing in the heart for Goodness, we begin to continually plant the seeds of good intention. This will, no doubt, bring about the desired results.  It is important to remember that when we feel we fail to live up to the Goodness we seek to express in the world.

The moment it began....

It ended with the sip of a soft drink at 5pm.  I never fasted the entire length of the day knowing it would be too hard on my body (and even harder on everyone watching me, LOL).  It only took that one minute to shift from one faith to another if its possible to do that.  It is perhaps the first lesson I have learned in that last afternoon. Faith is not about religion. My leaving one religion for another was changing lanes, nothing more.  And again this morning as I begin the day.  Every soul has its way with its Creator and there is truly no way to be an apostate from that relationship because the soul is always in contact with Ultimate.

So it should have been so simple when I sat down on the couch at my therapist's office, I took a sip of soda and prayed a Fatiha honoring the end of Ramadan.  Then I was totally overwhelmed with feelings I probably should have expected.  My eyes filled with tears.  I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing and I felt sad as if I was about to lose a friend. Thankfully my immediate response was to keep my eyes closed and I prayed and asked for help.  I opened my eyes and tried to tell my therapist what was going on, but couldn't.  We talked about other things for half an hour until I was ready to share, but by then I was feeling joy again.

I had a chance to remember that this is not about being locked in a box again yesterday afternoon. The site with the online fire temple refers to Christianity and other religions and I was reminded to remember sacred parallel worlds.  This is important, especially since Zoroastrianism did influence so many other religions.  I see that, but I also see how many of them were led away from Asha by the people who lost the way.  This is why Islam felt foreign to me, I believe, and Zoroastrianism feels like a soul-friend.  I am grateful and I should be.  And I should be giving thanks all day today!  May I remember to do so!

This morning I had a twinge, just a few seconds, of discomfort (call it growing pains) and then excitement.  Rather than obsess about prayers and details, I relaxed,  I suspect that is what I need and that I do not need to obsess about being on time for prayers or doing a correct ablution or following particular laws if I follow the path of Restored or more liberal Zoroastrians.  That is the healing balm.

And I think I needed to recognize that there will still be guidance from my teachers.  Perhaps it was Shaykh Nur who led me to the Gayatri Mantra then and how perfectly it works as a Zoroastrian prayer!

“OM BUHR, BHUVA, SWAHA

OM TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM
BHARGO DEVASYA DHEEMAHI
DHIYO YONAHA PRACHODAYAT”

We meditate on the glory of the Creator;
Who has created the Universe;
Who is worthy of Worship;
Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light;
Who is the remover of Sin and Ignorance;
May He open our hearts and enlighten our Intellect.

The Brahman of Hinduism is the Ahura Mazda of Zoroastrianism and the Waheguru of Sikhism and the Hashem of the Jews and the Alaha of the Christians and the Allah of the Muslims.  While Islam works for many and Sufism is still filled with practices I will engage in, being Zarathustrian is like getting my heart in synch.  As if I have had a near death experience and come out purely alive and aware of who I am and what my purpose is in life.

Zarathustrian Religion, Philosophy and History

How Ahura Mazda responded...

Ushta!  In the Spirit of All Good...

Its already 2pm!  It has been a very beautiful and auspicious day.  Without the language of Islam, my last day of Ramadan, my goodbye to Islam is filled to the brim with God.

And I am not sad...I feel blessed...I am not a sinner...there is a verse in Quran that I keep thinking of.  I believe it is read in the ear of my heart to reassure me that Mazda's Love is with me right now. She doesn't judge me an apostate.  She sees me willing to go where I can best serve Her:

Those with iman, those who are Jews, and the Christians and Sabaeans, all who have iman in Allah and the Last Day and act rightly, will have their reward with their Lord. They will feel no fear and will know no sorrow.  (Quran 2:62)

I am loved by God whether I practice Islam or practice Zoroastrianism.  Whether I identify as a Muslim or Mazdayasni, it is my faith in action that counts.  For me, the fact, I can feel Mazda as the Feminine Side is important to me. When I pray to the anthropomorphized Lord (the He) - I have often felt fear, too focused on the punishing God who resembled my earthly experiences with the masculine.  To have so many beautiful expressions of the Feminine honored in Mazdayasni religion is healing and it shows me what I am often to afraid to see.  And because of this, I can move forward in faith in trust now.

I can stop searching for religion in a way that shuts God out, but my faith is now my shelter made of God, my path to God, my joy in God, my gift to God, my gratitude for all I am given.  In the midst of all this I found a gorgeous online fire temple.

And it led to their online Restored Zoroastrian website which is so in synch with my beliefs right now in this very moment.  The author of the website refers to the Divine with both Gender Pronouns.  Thank You!  I felt this as a blessed yes from the Beloved and all Her beloveds who work for the good. There has been an acceptance of the intention I have made.  But I believe also  Mazda shares my joy and She wants me to know my heart is now with Mazda wrapped in Goodness.

The most beautiful week...

 “ God wills more good for you than you do yourself.”

(from Doreen Virtue's angel calendar for today's date)

P. sent me the reading from her angel card deck.  Coincidence?

zoroaster by haydar hatemi jpg. 

Ushta...

Its what I have been seeking for seven years in Sufism and found in one week as I gave in to that feeling about Zoroastrianism. No wonder!  Why did I wait six months! This nudge (now I see was so obviously from Mazda Herself or from one of Her many helpers.  Once I did follow that call to soul-search Zoroastrianism again, there was an insatiable thirst and I just kept imbibing all I could find.  All these years, I told myself the religion was too complex and that Zoroastrians were too against converts....

and here I am not even an entire week later on the last day of Ramadan knowing with all my heart and with an entire sense of serenity that I have found the path that I am meant to be on.  Spiritually, it is the best, emotionally it is the best. I know enough about the religion that I have absolutely no doubts about this.  It will seem impulsive to many, but I have known about Zoroastrianism for so many years and loved it.  Perhaps this knowledge was already there, but I didn't trust myself or I felt I didn't want to belong to a faith which didn't welcome converts.

I never felt this peace.  Here I am on the last day of Ramadan, peacefully saying to God, I realize now leaving Islam is not leaving God.  Ushta!

All has arranged itself into place.  I have seen that the people of this faith have become much more welcoming.  And I have seen that if it would offend others to call myself Zoroastrian or Mazdayasni or Zarathustri, I would just find a different name in order to be respectful. I've already stated this to someone and felt it was also a message to my heart and soul and to God.  But if I can be welcomed into the community I want to do it.

Why?  Because Ahura Mazda touched me with Her Radiant Light in the midst of Ramadan and I knew it was my last Ramadan.  And for once I felt leaving Islam didn't mean leaving God, but getting closer.  It mean finding the God I could trust, the God who offered me the opportunity to feel worthy of goodness, this beautiful God with such a Beautiful Name referring to Divine Light and Wisdom, who honors the Sacred Feminine.  

This religion reminds me to be grateful for everything around me that I can see, but I take for granted.  It reminds me that we are being watched over.  It tells me I'm not crazy that my heart breaks every year when Muslims slaughter millions of animals to mimic a Prophet's willingness to sacrifice his son for God.  All these Avestan 'terms' I wanted to learn have helped me see how many beings in the world both seen and unseen are the helpers of Ahura and I feel my 'job description' is clearly written on my heart and soul in the language of Zoroastrianism...

I hereby declare my intention to practice the religion of Mazdayasni and I hereby declare my intention to seek initiation into the religion of Ahura Mazda, Radiant Wisdom, Reigning Wisdom for the Divine Spark of Sophia lives in my heart calling me.

This morning's Hawan Gah Prayer ...

Hawan Gah

Eventually, I will make a playlist of the prayers and post them in the sidebar for easy access.  This morning as I listened and held my hands in the prayerful position and kept my eye on the Flame, it was as if I touched something very ancient in the prayer.  At first, I felt guilty about it thinking it to be something indigenous to the people, but then I recognized it is also now within me.  For whatever reason, it has filled my heart.  I believe the spirit can carry our history just like dna and this is part of what I feel connected to when I pray.  It may not be a Zoroastrian teaching, but I feel there is a connection there.  It just occurred to me that there has been discussion (including this past day or two!) on Norse peoples and Zoroastrians.  I am going to google it today...

Ahunwar (most sacred manthra of Zoroastrianism)

The will of the Reigning One is the law of righteousness.
The gifts of Vohu-mano to the deeds done in this world for Mazda.
He who relieves the poor makes Ahura king.

Rapithwin Gah - (midday to mid-afternoon)

Zoroastrian Creed

"On three noble ideals be ever intent:

The good thought well thought,

The good word well spoken,

The good deed well done."

Zarathushti Identity: Dr. Ali Jafarey

Zarathushti Identity: Dr. Ali Jafarey from ZAGNY on Vimeo.

Hawan Gah (sunrise to midday) by Mobed Niknam

when one door closes....

So I believe I am preparing...

Even though I feel more and more like I will be cutting ties with the religion of Islam, I have continued the Ramadan fast.  A moment ago, it felt wonderful to view it as a way of letting go of the old and ushering in the new.  I imagine here, a spirit guiding my soul, lovingly and with a sense of joy to this new place.

Sacred Parallel Worlds, on the one hand, which helps me remain open.  Sheikh Nur, if I ask him for guidance, will keep me away from the black and white thinking.  And this decision to become Mazdayasni (if only in name) feels scary yet wonderful.  And not the same scary I am used to.  Not the one that triggers the PTSD.

Yesterday, I told P. that it is lovely to have daily prayers which honor the angels/spirits and recognize their work.  And for a person who lives with the effects of trauma, it is so deeply comforting.  I hope to start praying those prayers soon, but want to add notes on certain words so I can take in their meaning.

When one door closes, another opens.  Ahura Mazda, which has long been a Name of the Divine I love, feels like a Light shining in my life.  A source of hope.

Before the end of Ramadan, I will make those notes to the prayer and on Eid, I will celebrate by making the namaz.  In the meantime, I am locating beautiful prayers from the Gathas such as this one (which I will post as a separate post, I think as the subtitle also for the blog at this point):

So may we be like those making

the world progress toward perfection;

May Mazda and the Divine Spirits help us

and guide our efforts through Truth;

For a thinking man is where Wisdom is at home.

gathas of zarathushtra - yasna 30:9 - ±1700 bce.

Learning to accept the Masculine and to see beyond it...

I have so much to say already, don't I?

Earlier in a discussion with a beloved, I recognized in the Ahura(Masculine)/Mazda(Feminine) the concept of Shiva/Shakti or Radhe/Krishna is present.  And in this Hindu concept, it ultimately leads to the Genderless aspect of Brahman/Allah/Waheguru who is known by many Names.

This has been difficult for me.  Being drawn to Devi/Goddess is a calling from Her, but I have just recognized also a need to pull away from the anthropomorphic representation of the patriarchal "Lord" in most monotheistic religions.  God by default is masculine and has many frightening aspects.  There are parts of God in Quran and the Bible which have probably kept me scared like I was as a traumatized child rather than the reverent fear we are meant to have of the Divine.  Reverent fear is not a childlike fear.  At least, I would assume so.

Many of the Sufis who are most advanced on the path will say they don't care about being destined for heaven or hell, but only for being with their "Lord".  I suspect I fear being with my "Lord" whereas being with a goddess like Parvati doesn't create such a feeling.  A lot of this probably happens in the background.

What I like about the Name, Ahura Mazda, is it allows me to come to terms with Shiva/Shakti or the Feminine/Masculine/Genderless idea of God in the Name of God, but in a gentle way.  I do not feel I am sinning by honoring the Feminine Wisdom of God.  She is not a sin.  Unbelievable I have spent 54 years repressing my love for Her, hiding it like a sin.

I have seen the angels of Zoroastrianism viewed like goddesses by non-Zoroastrians.  The honoring of the Feminine in all these ways feels more comfortable and I may have to resist the call to return to the God of those who have pushed Her into the realm of sinners.  Does Quran do that?  Does the Bible do that?  Or is it the way we have been taught to perceive it?  Has patriarchy forced us to believe that using She when referring to Allah will anger Allah who is like a mother, according to the Prophet.  In truth, Muslims lie when they say God has no gender.  Allah belongs to men.  The Prophet tried to repair that kind of male-ego that had caused women to become so inferior in the society, but when he died, it slipped right back to the patriarchal.

And perhaps that is because people never wondered more about what it means that: Paradise lies at the Feet of the Mother.

One thing I love about Zoroastrianism is long before Islam, Judaism and Christianity is a religion of the Mother/Father/GenderlessSupreme .... a trinity of sorts which one could contemplate on for a long long time.  If only Zoroastrianism had survived in larger numbers and the Abrahamic traditions had not suffocated a religion with true love for the Sacredness of the Feminine.

Your Fire and Mind...

Who will, O Wise One, give me protection

when the wrongful threatens to harm me,

other than Your Fire and Mind?

It is through the working of these two that,

O God, righteousness thrives.

Do enlighten my inner-self with this doctrine.

- Gathas 11-7 -

for the entire creation...

I pray for the entire creation ... 

for the generation which is now alive, 

for that which is just coming into life, 

and for that which shall be hereafter.

-from the Zend-Avesta-

How Ahura Mazda honors the Feminine and covering the head and creating goodness...

Over the years, many things have touched my heart about this path.  I never knew about the way Zarathushtra honored the Feminine when he chose the Name Ahura Mazda.  And what is interesting is that it is the name Wisdom that honors Her...

It may be worth noting that the two  words chosen by Zarathushtra to describe best God belong to opposite genders. Ahura, meaning "The Being" with a secondary meaning "lord" is masculine, and mazda, "supreme wisdom, super-intellect" with a secondary meaning of "The Wise" is feminine. A beautiful combination, indeed! However, Zarathushtra has followed the grammatical rules of his age that when a masculine and feminine nouns combine, pronouns follow the masculine rule, yet he frequently uses the neuter gender, particular the emphatic HVA, in his Sublime Songs. We too, bound by the present Judeo-Christian usage of God taken as a masculine in English, use the masculine pronoun without assigning any particular gender to God for God is above such an imagination. May be a day will come when we will have a better conception of God and use the simple pronoun of IT.  

Ali A. Jafarey 

So in a very real sense Sophia and Mazda are One here.  It is good to know that in worship, Ahura and Mazda are not always used together.  And to speak Mazda's Name is to speak Sophia's Name. For me, this is deeply healing. It reminds me of how Neil Douglas Klotz translates the Lord's Prayer with Mother-Father.

Add to this, some other things I've discovered today that felt like what I needed for my path.  Five prayers and head covering.  The blog I read on head covering showed it from the perspective of chakras, aura and a section of the brain.  The comments seemed very supportive.  I have thought for a long time that head covering has some sort of effect like this because so many religions have used head covering or tribal costumes have traditionally included them.  Human beings seem drawn to head coverings when engaged in spirtual activities.

One last part seems to have been like an answered prayer today.  While scrubbing away at the ego's issues, its not always easy to stop certain behaviors like impatience or gossiping.  Those are two examples that I can say I struggle with pretty much daily. Its easier to say don't be impatient than it is to stop it when it comes up.  As for gossiping, it can be addictive.  But when my intent is to be one who lives by righteousness through good thoughts, good words and good deeds, its simple enough to stay focused.  It is easier to see it coming before its inflated to the point where its too late to stop it from happening.  I see the impatience is in the back of my mind and I change my mind and heart by good thoughts.  With such a simple spiritual plan for making the moments of each day a form of worship, there is a feeling of hope I haven't felt for a long time.

I know better than to get too hopeful that this may be the answer to all this confusion, but I felt good enough about it to put a blog in place, just in case.  Enough happened within just a few hours that I felt it may be that guidance I was waiting for.

Do I say Amen?  :)

To be a worshiper of Ahura Mazda...

Ashem Vohu Vashistem asti
Ushtã asti, Ushtã ahmãi,
Hyat ashãi Vahishtãi ashem.

Righteousness is the best good (and it) is happiness. 
Happiness (is) to him, who (is) righteous for the sake of the best righteousness.