Even though I feel more and more like I will be cutting ties with the religion of Islam, I have continued the Ramadan fast. A moment ago, it felt wonderful to view it as a way of letting go of the old and ushering in the new. I imagine here, a spirit guiding my soul, lovingly and with a sense of joy to this new place.
Sacred Parallel Worlds, on the one hand, which helps me remain open. Sheikh Nur, if I ask him for guidance, will keep me away from the black and white thinking. And this decision to become Mazdayasni (if only in name) feels scary yet wonderful. And not the same scary I am used to. Not the one that triggers the PTSD.
Yesterday, I told P. that it is lovely to have daily prayers which honor the angels/spirits and recognize their work. And for a person who lives with the effects of trauma, it is so deeply comforting. I hope to start praying those prayers soon, but want to add notes on certain words so I can take in their meaning.
When one door closes, another opens. Ahura Mazda, which has long been a Name of the Divine I love, feels like a Light shining in my life. A source of hope.
Before the end of Ramadan, I will make those notes to the prayer and on Eid, I will celebrate by making the namaz. In the meantime, I am locating beautiful prayers from the Gathas such as this one (which I will post as a separate post, I think as the subtitle also for the blog at this point):
So may we be like those making
the world progress toward perfection;
May Mazda and the Divine Spirits help us
and guide our efforts through Truth;
For a thinking man is where Wisdom is at home.
gathas of zarathushtra - yasna 30:9 - ±1700 bce.
No comments:
Post a Comment