The moment it began....

It ended with the sip of a soft drink at 5pm.  I never fasted the entire length of the day knowing it would be too hard on my body (and even harder on everyone watching me, LOL).  It only took that one minute to shift from one faith to another if its possible to do that.  It is perhaps the first lesson I have learned in that last afternoon. Faith is not about religion. My leaving one religion for another was changing lanes, nothing more.  And again this morning as I begin the day.  Every soul has its way with its Creator and there is truly no way to be an apostate from that relationship because the soul is always in contact with Ultimate.

So it should have been so simple when I sat down on the couch at my therapist's office, I took a sip of soda and prayed a Fatiha honoring the end of Ramadan.  Then I was totally overwhelmed with feelings I probably should have expected.  My eyes filled with tears.  I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing and I felt sad as if I was about to lose a friend. Thankfully my immediate response was to keep my eyes closed and I prayed and asked for help.  I opened my eyes and tried to tell my therapist what was going on, but couldn't.  We talked about other things for half an hour until I was ready to share, but by then I was feeling joy again.

I had a chance to remember that this is not about being locked in a box again yesterday afternoon. The site with the online fire temple refers to Christianity and other religions and I was reminded to remember sacred parallel worlds.  This is important, especially since Zoroastrianism did influence so many other religions.  I see that, but I also see how many of them were led away from Asha by the people who lost the way.  This is why Islam felt foreign to me, I believe, and Zoroastrianism feels like a soul-friend.  I am grateful and I should be.  And I should be giving thanks all day today!  May I remember to do so!

This morning I had a twinge, just a few seconds, of discomfort (call it growing pains) and then excitement.  Rather than obsess about prayers and details, I relaxed,  I suspect that is what I need and that I do not need to obsess about being on time for prayers or doing a correct ablution or following particular laws if I follow the path of Restored or more liberal Zoroastrians.  That is the healing balm.

And I think I needed to recognize that there will still be guidance from my teachers.  Perhaps it was Shaykh Nur who led me to the Gayatri Mantra then and how perfectly it works as a Zoroastrian prayer!

“OM BUHR, BHUVA, SWAHA

OM TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM
BHARGO DEVASYA DHEEMAHI
DHIYO YONAHA PRACHODAYAT”

We meditate on the glory of the Creator;
Who has created the Universe;
Who is worthy of Worship;
Who is the embodiment of Knowledge and Light;
Who is the remover of Sin and Ignorance;
May He open our hearts and enlighten our Intellect.

The Brahman of Hinduism is the Ahura Mazda of Zoroastrianism and the Waheguru of Sikhism and the Hashem of the Jews and the Alaha of the Christians and the Allah of the Muslims.  While Islam works for many and Sufism is still filled with practices I will engage in, being Zarathustrian is like getting my heart in synch.  As if I have had a near death experience and come out purely alive and aware of who I am and what my purpose is in life.