Learning to accept the Masculine and to see beyond it...

I have so much to say already, don't I?

Earlier in a discussion with a beloved, I recognized in the Ahura(Masculine)/Mazda(Feminine) the concept of Shiva/Shakti or Radhe/Krishna is present.  And in this Hindu concept, it ultimately leads to the Genderless aspect of Brahman/Allah/Waheguru who is known by many Names.

This has been difficult for me.  Being drawn to Devi/Goddess is a calling from Her, but I have just recognized also a need to pull away from the anthropomorphic representation of the patriarchal "Lord" in most monotheistic religions.  God by default is masculine and has many frightening aspects.  There are parts of God in Quran and the Bible which have probably kept me scared like I was as a traumatized child rather than the reverent fear we are meant to have of the Divine.  Reverent fear is not a childlike fear.  At least, I would assume so.

Many of the Sufis who are most advanced on the path will say they don't care about being destined for heaven or hell, but only for being with their "Lord".  I suspect I fear being with my "Lord" whereas being with a goddess like Parvati doesn't create such a feeling.  A lot of this probably happens in the background.

What I like about the Name, Ahura Mazda, is it allows me to come to terms with Shiva/Shakti or the Feminine/Masculine/Genderless idea of God in the Name of God, but in a gentle way.  I do not feel I am sinning by honoring the Feminine Wisdom of God.  She is not a sin.  Unbelievable I have spent 54 years repressing my love for Her, hiding it like a sin.

I have seen the angels of Zoroastrianism viewed like goddesses by non-Zoroastrians.  The honoring of the Feminine in all these ways feels more comfortable and I may have to resist the call to return to the God of those who have pushed Her into the realm of sinners.  Does Quran do that?  Does the Bible do that?  Or is it the way we have been taught to perceive it?  Has patriarchy forced us to believe that using She when referring to Allah will anger Allah who is like a mother, according to the Prophet.  In truth, Muslims lie when they say God has no gender.  Allah belongs to men.  The Prophet tried to repair that kind of male-ego that had caused women to become so inferior in the society, but when he died, it slipped right back to the patriarchal.

And perhaps that is because people never wondered more about what it means that: Paradise lies at the Feet of the Mother.

One thing I love about Zoroastrianism is long before Islam, Judaism and Christianity is a religion of the Mother/Father/GenderlessSupreme .... a trinity of sorts which one could contemplate on for a long long time.  If only Zoroastrianism had survived in larger numbers and the Abrahamic traditions had not suffocated a religion with true love for the Sacredness of the Feminine.